Many of us ask our parents and grandparents to tell us stories about their lives. As children we listen eagerly to hear what they would tell us about life when they were little, or how they met. As we grow older, we often stop asking, not because we aren’t interested anymore or because we don’t want to spend time with them, perhaps we stop asking because we have our own lives to live, or we think we have heard all there is to hear.
Personally, I enjoyed the stories and there was never anything that really caught me by surprise. I never heard of their struggles, their heartbreak, or their regrets. I was only told the “good stuff”.
But not everyone hears the “good stuff” from their parents, sometimes the stories shared aren’t pleasant ones and they bring tears to the eyes of the storyteller and to the one who is listening.
This is Monica’s story and the story she once heard from her mom four years ago still brings tears to her eyes today.
Monica’s mom came to visit her about four years ago and during that time she shared a story with her. The story came out of nowhere and was very short and left Monica perplexed and unsure how to feel.
Her mom’s story was simply that she had had an abortion when Monica was a little girl. Instantly Monica’s memories took her down a shadowy path of being little in the home with her mom and some man, whom she couldn’t remember. She also remembers seeing her mother another time and her grandmother was there along with her dad and mom, and her mom was crying. But that’s all she remembers. Her mom told her that yes those were true memories and that was the time when her mom had had her abortion.
Four years later when sharing her experience she can’t recall how she responded to her mom, but she does remember, after some time of processing, realizing that she would have had a younger sibling. Someone she could play with and, as the oldest, someone she could watch over and take care of.
She remembers during that time that she got stuck at the point when her mom described the actual procedure. Her mind wouldn’t go forward, and she doesn’t remember anything else her mom said. She doesn’t recall if she hugged or mom or not during that stay.
But now, all those years later, Monica is a hugger.
In her volunteer work with her local pregnancy center and her church, she realizes that there is a loss and a mourning there, that the women she meets with who are thinking about getting an abortion have a heavy heart, and “her heart goes out to the men and women” she encounters.
Monica’s heart is also heavy because of the longing she feels when she thinks about her sibling, when she thinks about the family that would have been. She mourns the loss of having a sibling, the death that occurred in her family because of the abortion. She mourns the bond she would have had with her younger brother or sister.
Though she may not have cried during the time her mom shared with her about her abortion, she cries today because for her it is “still a fresh wound”. But it is a wound that never really gets talked about.
Though Monica doesn’t really talk to her family about this experience she does share her story with others when advocating for life. In fact she recently told a young woman who had a child and who was sadly considering abortion, to “not let her circumstances rob her son of a sibling”.
After all the processing and the tears Monica is very glad that her mom shared her story with her. Her mom’s story is helping Monica “grow stronger in her fight for life”.
** If you or someone you know has experienced the pain of abortion, please know there is hope and healing. Please contact Judy at 661-864-7508 for information on Redeemed, a post abortive Bible Study. **